


Tea Me

by YaBoiTheGurl



Series: These Kids Have Problems (Don't Worry, They Help Each Other) [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz (Two River Cast) RPF
Genre: ?? i guess, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Best Squip Parent, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, IDK Jeremy just feels fucked up today guys, Jeremy needs a hug, Just All Of Them, Mental Health Issues, Michael Loves His Player Two, Player One Player Two Combo, Squip is Good Squip, They're so sweet tbh, this is very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 18:39:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14171115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaBoiTheGurl/pseuds/YaBoiTheGurl
Summary: "What is wrong?""Don't you already know?""Hmm, maybe.""Then why don't you just tell me?"





	Tea Me

**Author's Note:**

> In other words, Jeremy isn't okay today and the Squip is perceptive. (Also Michael Mell is the best player one)

Jeremy stared at the paper in front of him with unfocused eyes, tapping his pencil next to the question number as he reread the question. It was spring break, and this was just a practice test he could choose to do if he wanted to, but his mind just felt foggy and his body felt heavy. He wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and go to sleep.

"We agreed you would try this test the day after school ended." Jeremy couldn't find it in himself to groan at the Squip who so helpfully reminded him of the agreement they made, but sent the feeling in its direction with a glare. 

The Squip raised an eyebrow at that, pushing itself off the wall and walking over to Jeremy. For a moment, Jeremy felt a sense of dread wash over him, but sternly reminded himself that this wasn't the Squip he thought it was. This Squip was the same, but not an evil, manipulative supercomputer that wanted to take over the world. "Now that is an entirely melodramatic title if I've ever heard one."

The Squip materialized a chair next to him, leaning onto the desk as Jeremy was, but towards him. Jeremy didn't look up from the question, but he stopped tapping his pencil, dropping it all together next to the test. He just wasn't feeling it today. "You're never really 'feeling it' today, are you?" Jeremy's mind flickered momentarily to the past, where the Squip had hissed insults when he fucked up, but he brought himself back to the present. Not this Squip. This one is good. "We've been over this, Jeremy." It sounded exaggeratedly exasperated, as if it were trying to pull some sort of a reaction out of him. "I'm still the same Squip, just rebooted." A pause. "You know this. I know you do." Jeremy wasn't sure if it was talking about this or the Biology question in front of his face. He managed a shrug, and the Squip sighed. "Well, you passed the time limit ages ago, but all you wrote was your name. I would not be opposed to the idea of putting this off another day, if you would prefer."

He would, actually, he would prefer they put this off another day, but he couldn't stand up if he tried. Jeremy folded up his arms on the desk and rested his cheek on them, facing the direction where the Squip was. The Squip mirrored his movements, studying his face. "Tell me what is wrong."

"I don't see why you ask that," Jeremy spoke, finally, "when you're inside my head, an' you already know."

"Do I?" The Squip hummed thoughtfully. "Well, yes. It seems I do."

"Then why don't _you _tell _me _,"Jeremy said, making eye contact with the Squip, who didn't seem fazed by his attitude in the slightest. Jeremy thought he knew what the Squip was going to say. Maybe it'd say it knew that all of his friends had plans for spring break until the last three days, or that it knew his dad was working more to be a good father, but being a single father meant working more and not being around enough to keep him company. Not that he would need anything, it would then point out, because Jeremy had the Squip, and maybe Jeremy would have replied with something witty, but not today, because it wasn't what the Squip said.____

_____ _

The Squip's eyes flickered between Jeremy's, something it did when it was trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say. "Your mental illness _does _count as a mental illness, Jeremy."__

_______ _ _ _

Jeremy visibly flinched because _crap _that hit too close to home, and of course the Squip was right. The Squip showed no smugness to his reaction, only a calm face dotted with concern. "You may not have a name for it yet, but it is still very real." Jeremy's eyebrows pinched together and he shoved his face into his arms. "Other illnesses people may have do not define your own. There is no pain scale of whose hurts the most. They all hurt, in their own way. They all suck, they're all very real. And yours matters."__

_________ _ _ _ _ _

Jeremy's breathing hitched as he threaded a hand through his hair and held tight, something to try and ground himself before he got too far in. It wasn't really working, and he withheld a very embarrassing whine of frustration. The Squip shushed him, and there was a feeling of something rubbing his back in soothing circles. "Why don't we call Michael? Are you up to talking?" Jeremy shook his head, taking in a shaky breath. "No? Hmm, well, let's get some fresh air. Take a walk, you'll feel better." Jeremy sat up and rubbed his sweaty hands down his sweatpants and groaned. It was beginning to get really hard to breathe. "Just around the block, then maybe we can come back and make some tea, does that sound nice?" Jeremy felt like a child, and he wanted to spit out some hateful remark - Quit talking to me like I'm a child. I'm hurting but I'm not two! - but he just nodded and pushed away from his desk. 

_________ _ _ _ _ _

Six minutes of trembled stumbling later - "Careful with the rug, it's old and curling up on the outside." - Jeremy was locking the door and walking down the street. The Squip had an arm around his shoulders to guide him and keep him upright, even though, in reality, it look like he was keeping himself up. Jeremy pulled his jacket around him tightly, taking uneven breaths and whimpering in between. They took a right and Jeremy felt his anxiety rise. For no reason, too. He felt a wave of frustration roll over him, and he groaned, raking his fingers through his hair.

_________ _ _ _ _ _

"You are worried about a great number of things that may happen, and that is normal." The Squip was speaking, maybe not at him but just to talk and grab his attention. To ground him as they took a right on the side walk. "It may feel irrational because you feel emotional about it, but worrying only means you care. You are only overthinking everything." He knew this, Jeremy knew this. It was something he would tell Michael when he-

_________ _ _ _ _ _

Jeremy stopped, squinting through his tears. Was that- "Michael jogging over because you were suppose to hang out today? Yes, he called you six times and sent fifty-two messages." Jesus Christ. "I know. I'll leave him to it." With the Squip gone, Jeremy felt unbalanced and stumbled forward, only to be caught by familiar arms. 

_________ _ _ _ _ _

"Whoa there, Jeremy. Don't go falling for me now," Michael teased. Whatever he wanted to say next left his mind as it filled with concern, "Hey- Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong, man?" Michael's hands were on his shoulders and he stared into his eyes. Jeremy felt his skin grow hot everywhere and he honestly thought he might suffocate like this. He wheezed and Michael jumped into action. "Whoa, okay, here, hang on, let's keep walking, yeah? Yeah, let's just keep going." Unknowingly, Michael mimicked what the Squip had done earlier and walked at a casual pace while Jeremy tried to calm down. He really couldn't process what was going on around him, but his throat felt dry and cold, and the tea the Squip mentioned earlier sounded really nice right now. 

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_We don't want you to spill it on yourself because you're shaking too much, or for you to choke on it. Keep walking. _After a beat, it added, _You're doing great. Listen to Michael _.____

_____ _

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_____ _

Jeremy tried to tune into what Michael was talking about, but he couldn't really hear because his breathing sounded so loud in his ears. Whatever Michael was talking about, he was using his right hand to talk. He would do that whenever he was talking about something he liked, and Jeremy felt a pang of guilt be drowned by anxiety. _You're almost home. _Jeremy forced himself to keep walking until Michael turned him up his driveway and towards the front door.__

_____ _

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The tears had stopped and he felt a bit calmer than before, but the feeling never left and he really wanted to whine about it. _You're alright. Get some tea. ___

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"You want some tea?" Michael's voice was softer now that they were indoors, and the hand on his shoulder didn't feel like a hot stove anymore. Jeremy nodded weakly, swaying at the front door. Michael nodded. "Go sit in the living room, I'll be right there."

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Jeremy stood there for another minute, swaying some more before the Squip encouraged him to go cover up with the quilt in the living room. _Step onto the rug so you don't trip, and walk around the coffee table. _He did as he was told, and fell on the couch. _You're not going to be able to drink tea like that _, the Squip chided gently. It sounded like it was kneeling next to him, and his suspicions were confirmed when he felt a hand on his back. _And you're going to make your breathing uneven again, covering your face like that. Sit up and grab the quilt. _He did, but his arms felt heavy. It would have taken him ages to cover up if the Squip hadn't helped.______

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After a while more of being curled up and waiting for Michael, Jeremy felt his sore eyes droop sleepily, but it felt like only a minute later that Michael was gently shaking him awake. He grinned sheepishly at Jeremy's owlish blinking, "Sorry it took so long, man. Forgot how to make tea." Jeremy shrugged as Michael sat next to him and handed him his coffee mug from the coffee table. Jeremy took a tentative sip and shuddered. "That bad?" Michael joked, drinking from his own cup. 

_____ _

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Jeremy shrugged again, looking away. "Just warm." 

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Michael hummed, leaning back into the couch. "So... What happened?" Jeremy's finger ran across the rim of the coffee mug, focusing on the feeling rather than what he was feeling. He saw the Squip across the room in a chair, fake knitting a sweater that said _'You can do it.'_

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"Just feeling bad again." The Squip sent a disapproving face, but nodded at his attempted progress. Jeremy winced, cuddling his mug close to him. He shivered. 

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Michael glanced at the empty chair, then back at Jeremy. "Did it say something?"

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Jeremy shook his head. "No, just disappointed."

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"Why?" Michael probed. 

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"'Cause I didn't say the truth." There was a long pause. "Well, not the whole truth, I guess. I am feeling bad again, just..."

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"For a different reason?" Michael offered. Jeremy shrugged and glanced at the Squip for help. It was gone. "Still with me, Jer?"

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"Mm." Jeremy scraped his dull nails across the mug, tapping lightly. 

_____ _

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"Hey." The tapping stopped and Jeremy looked at Michael. He looked sincere. "I'm not saying you have to say anything right now, but I'm still here, you know that?" Jeremy nodded, staring at his steaming tea. 

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"I need to."

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"Okay."

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There was a moment of silence before Jeremy sighed and rubbed his sore eyes. It stung but he couldn't bring himself to care. _Your mental illness matters, even if it doesn't have a name _, the Squip prompted, helpfully.__

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"I..." Jeremy took a breath and the Squip nodded at him. "I felt. Foggy, all day today. Like I was a shadow of myself? I..." Two heads nodded at him. "I was trying to take that optional test for Biology, the one she sent us home with?" Michael nodded again, listening fully. Jeremy felt encouraged by the look in his eyes, and the Squip radiated the same feeling. "I-It was what me and the Squip agreed on doing for break and... I couldn't answer anything? I just felt.. heavy? And I didn't really know why? And the Squip said it knew - 'cause it's in my brain, y'know? - and I told it to tell me and... It said my mental illness mattered? Even if it didn't have a name? A-and..." He wasn't looking at Michael anymore. "And it's very... real? And just as painful as anything else and that other stuff doesn't define how bad I feel and... they all hurt in their own way and..." Jeremy blinked as his mug got blurry. He frowned. "I just got really emotional over it, and I couldn't breathe. It saw the possibility of you walking over here so it got me to walk outside and pretty much meet you and, well, you know what happened after that..."

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Tears spilled over his eyes, and Jeremy wiped them halfheartedly. His throat felt dry, so he took a sip of his tea, which had cooled off. The Squip hummed with approval and praise, but otherwise kept silent. 

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"Miah?" Jeremy looked up and his frown deepened at the tears in Michael's eyes. "You know you can talk to me about that kind of stuff, right? Even if I sound really busy, I always have time for my Player Two, you know that, right?" The nickname tied Jeremy's stomach in knots. He whimpered and nodded, his throat tightening. "Good, I- I don't want you to think you can't just because you feel like you don't have anyone to talk to. I mean, if I _really _can't help, you know you can always call Brooke or- or Christine. Rich- he and Jake are almost inseperable, so imagine what a hug from them must be like." Jeremy managed a weak laugh. "Yeah, if you could even pull them apart, they'd squish you to death." Jeremy laughed again, his body shaking for an entirely different reason. "C'mere, Jerbear." They both set their drinks down, almost in sync, and Jeremy lunged at Michael's chest, burying his face in his neck. Michael squeezed him tightly and sniffled. "You're not a burden to me. You're my best friend. I just want you to be okay, okay?"__

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"Okay," Jeremy sobbed quietly, trembling. "Okay. I'm sorry. I'm." Broken. He felt broken.

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"You're okay."

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The Squip hummed warmly next to him, and he keened, "I feel so broken."

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"It's okay." Michael shushed him, rocking him the best he could.

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"I'm so sorry."

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"Shhh."

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When they had both cried everything out, they agreed on sleeping in Jeremy's room rather than the couch. As comfortable as they were, they would get serious back and neck pains in the morning. After moving upstairs and getting comfortable once more, Michael snaked an arm around Jeremy's stomach and pulled him close, murmuring into his neck, "Always gonna have time for _this _with my Player Two." Jeremy smiled at that, wiggling as close as he could to Michael as his breathing evened out.__

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The Squip came into Jeremy's view, and it squatted next to the bed. It studied Jeremy's curious expression before nodding. "Yes, I saw Michael coming over uninvited as a possibility. That is why I got you out of the house."

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_Why didn't I know about his texts? _Jeremy traced hearts on the hand holding him close. Michael nuzzled his nose into the back of his neck, breathing deeply.__

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The Squip paused, eyes flickering between Jeremy's, whose blinked sleepily. "When you are upset, you have the tendency of... shutting down. If you saw those messages he sent, you would have shoved what you were feeling into a box and dried your face before Michael could even knock. I had blocked out the vibrations and tones when I realized what was wrong." It paused at Jeremy's frown. "I am. I apologize for blocking your phone out without your permission, but do you not agree this was a favorable outcome?" Jeremy glanced back at Michael and breathed deeply, the frown melting into a smile. He turned over gently in Michael's arm, shushing Michael when he muttered in his sleep and tried to snuggle closer. Jeremy grinned at his cuteness, stroking his cheek lovingly. 

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He felt the Squip roll its eyes. "You are hopeless." The words had no heat behind them, and Jeremy only smiled more, closing his eyes to take a nap.

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End file.
